im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
