If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize