Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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