I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize