there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
