Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
