I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
