Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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