I have demons in me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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