bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
