so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
