If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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