Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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