there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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