Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
