Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Drunk is not a location!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
