So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
