and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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