And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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