I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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