If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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