id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
