love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
