Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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