fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
