Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
