marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
