Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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