Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
