I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize