yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
