Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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