If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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