it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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