Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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