Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
