I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
