How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
