i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We were destined to go to rehab together
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
