so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
