My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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