Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
