Quick, to the slutcave!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
