Hey man sorry I got all grabby
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
