Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
