Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
