that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
