Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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