i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
