We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
